Wednesday Wifehood

Originally posted 2/11/09

I've especially been having to relearn this lesson recently!

I'm sitting here eating the Honey Nut Cheerios snack mix I got from Giant Eagle with a coupon this week (picking out the pretzels of course) and wondering why they would put nasty pretzels in a sweet snack mix. I'm not a fan of pretzels and whenever I eat snack mixes (which always have them!!) I usually just hand them to my husband and won't let him have any of the good stuff like the chex pieces or little breadsticks. He's so good to me and eats them all without too much complaint! :)

A thought stuck me today as I was reading my Proverb for the day: #5. Good old #5 about how men need to stay away from immoral women. In verse 19 it says "As a loving deer and a graceful doe, let her (the wife of your youth) breasts satisfy you at all times; and always be enraptured with her love." Most of us wives say "Yeah! That's right!" But do we ever think about what this verse may mean for us, besides security? "Be enraptured with her love" kinda gives the inpression that the wive is ACTIVELY loving her husband, huh? I think this ties in with Titus 2:4 very well: "that they (older women) admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children..."

Let's take that thought a little further, even. Am I loving my husband actively in a way that will enrapture him? You may think "It's up to him to accept it" but hold on for a minute. Isn't it our job as wives to be our husbands "help"meets? Isn't it my goal in our relationship to do what I can to help, encourage, and come beside him? Do you think that might including making it easier for him to be enraptured by my love?

If you've never heard of the Five Love Languages book, this may be confusing to you, but the whole idea is that everyone has one of five distinct ways they like to give and receive love. I was a skeptic at first, especially when my husband told me he'd taken the test and his love language was touch. I figured he was just saying that because he wanted it that way, etc. I was a skeptic until I overheard the author of the book, Gary Chapman, on a radio program talking about what happens in a marriage where the partners aren't speaking each other's love language. He described my (then) current marriage state loud and clear and it was a slap in the face to hear a stranger I didn't buy into explain all the little struggles we were dealing with no one else around could see. After that I took the test and am considering reading the book now. My husband is touch and I am gifts and quality time.

Now here's obstacle #1. Touch was the lowest one for me. Actually, I scored a 0 out 0f 12 on that one. Honestly, I don't like to be touched much, especially when I'm pregnant. Maybe the occasional hug and goodnight kiss. Here's obstacle #2. I spend all day wiping a runny nose, changing poopy diapers, cooking, cleaning, reading and a whole host of other things. You mean to tell me that after all that, when I feel completely drained, I need to actively love my husband in a way that's difficult for me? In a word: YES.

Back to my illustration about the pretzels. I have been giving my husband the pretzels out of the bag of my time and energy. I happily give my time to a lot of things throughout the day (most of which are great things) and leave the pretzels for him at the end of the day. Put in that light, it doesn't seem very fair, does it? Just as I expect him to come home from work and love me in a way I enjoy, I need to be doing the same for him.

Chapter 5 of Proverbs is a very important book explaining what happens when a man goes towards an immoral woman and gets involved in adultry. It is very much up to my husband to guard and watch his actions and heart, but it is just as much my responsibility to make it easier on him. I want to lighten his load and help him in whatever way I can. If that involves me putting forth more effort to love him in a way that is meaningful to him even though I am tired, then it's my heart's desire to do so. Notice that Titus 2:4 gives instructions for older women (who have been there already) to teach the young women to LOVE their husbands (which is listed before the children).

A lot of women hate hearing it, but if our husbands stray it may have a least a little to do with our lack of proactive action. No, I'm not blaming the wives nor excusing the husbands. I am reinforcing something discussed in the book "For Women Only" about how men often wish (but rarely tell) their wives would make more of an effort in things like her appearance and their sex life. GASP! He's supposed to love me for who I am! Yes, he is, but don't you think you should put in some effort too? I'm not saying you should neglect your children and house and become vain and unbalanced, but your husband deserves the good stuff you have to offer too, not just the pretzels. I know I want to start making more of an effort to enrapture my husband with my love, how about you?

Wednesday Wifehood: In Public

I've recently been watching some of the episodes of the Duggar's show, 17 and Counting. I find it fascinating as well as inspiring. I've already gotten some great ideas and tips to try out in my home for organizing and having patience with my children.

One of the things I noticed right away was how Michelle Duggar spoke about and to her husband. It was a good reminder that we should always watch how we speak, especially to our husbands and especially in front of others. There are some things that it's best to wait to say until we are alone with our husbands, especially if it's a problem area.

Far too often we see, both in daily life and on television and media, wives nagging at their husbands, tearing them down, belittling them, etc. It's seems women want to prove something and want to "win" over men no matter what the cost.

I have been learning how to keep quiet, pray about things that bother me and speak concerns in a loving, respectful way. I am learning. I'm not there yet, not even close. But I want to be. How about you? Have you been learning how to speak in a loving and respectful way to others? Do you have any tips for us?

Wednesday Wifehood: Your Own Husband

At last, a Wednesday Wifehood post! LoL. I hope to get back into doing the Created to Be His Helpmeet book starting off where we left off at Chapter 6 next week. As for this week, I found a wonderful little article about loving our own husband over at Heavenly Homemakers.

What a great reminder! It is so easy to feel like we have to copy other happy marriages or follow any little advice we read about how to love our husbands. It's so important to remember that we're to love our own husband who is a unique individual with needs and desires different from anyone else.

In a way, it's kind of a great challenge, as a wife, to be able to read our husband and know him so well that we know what he needs. :) Who doesn't love a good challenge? I hope you have a wonderful Wednesday and spend some time loving your husband in the unique ways he needs it today!

Wednesday Wifehood: Partnership or Corporation?

I've been reading a wonderful book called The Kingdom that Turned the World Upside Down by David Bercot. I love it and he wrote something I found very helpful about marriage:

Today, I see so many Christian books on marriage that talk about the "marriage partnership." But Jesus never referred to marriage as a partnership. He referred to as "one flesh," and that is quite different. In law, when two persons form a partnership, their separate identities still exist. If someone is negligently injured on the partnership property, the injured person can sue each pf the partners individually. The law sees the partnership as two individuals who happen to work together.

However, if two individuals create a corporation, that's different. As far as the law is concerned, when two persons incorporate, their individual identities are dissolved. If someone is injured on corporate property, he cannot normally sue the two persons who formed the corporation. He can sue only the corporation itself. The law sees the corporation as a new person. The corporation can sue or be sued as an entity of its own.

Similarly, marriage is like a corporation, not a partnership. A new entity is formed when a man and woman marry. They aren't partners; they have merged into "one flesh". The world may treat a husband and wife as partners, but Jesus doesn't. Who did Jesus say joins a man and woman together in marriage? God. So in marriage, a man and woman pass into the realm of eternity. I don't mean that marriage is eternal, but there are eternal realities that attach to marriage. Marriage is not a human institution; it's a heavenly institution. It is God who does the joining, but it is man who tried to do the separating.

How amazing! What a difference changing one word from partnership to corporation can make in how we view our marriages. I hope that you are encouraged today to be a corporation, not just a partnership! Do you have a thought or encouragement about Wifehood this week? Share it with us!

Created to be His Help Meet: Chapter 5

Last time, I wrote about Chapter Four in the book "Created to Be His Help Meet: Discover How God Can Make Your Marriage Glorious" by Debi Pearl which was about having a thanksgiving produces joy. If you're just joining us, you can start at Chapter One, Chapter Two and Chapter Three. Many of this book's topics aren't popular today and will require us to be serious with ourselves and God. If you're ready, let's go!

Chapter Five: The Gift of Wisdom

Debi Pearl writes "Do you have enough fear of God not to question His Word?" For example, when God's word says we were created to be our husband's help meet, do we follow it unquestioningly? Or do we, in the back of our minds and subtle actions, try to do things our own way?

We need to remember that when we serve and honor our husbands, we serve Christ. Our husbands may not deserve it, but we are still to serve them. We can't follow our feelings in this area. You may not always feel like serving your husband and this is where Godly wisdom comes in. God promises in His word (James 1:5) that He will give wisdom to all those who ask. But you have to ask. Debi writes:

A woman's calling is not easy. To allow someone else to control your life is much harder than taking control of it yourself. It can be a challenge, even for veteran wives. Don't despair. With wisdom from on high, you can be the woman God uses, if not to change that old man into a wonderful fellow, then at least to ease your own burden and become a heavenly bride fit for the Son of God Himself

She does on to explain that many people today are too timid to teach and follow God's Word as it is written today. How often do you hear "The original language really means..." or "You see, that culture..." I believe God knew enough to be able to write and preserve His Word in a way that I can understand and believe, therefore I take Him at His Word. Sometimes, deeper study can help give me clarification and deeper understanding, but I try to never use outside tools to alter the Word to fit my personal agenda.

God's word gives three main points in His blueprint for a married Christian woman:

1. God commands wives to submit to their OWN husbands
2. God informs men that they are the head of the wife
3. God tells wives to be subject to their husbands in everything, every decision, every move, every plan and all everyday affairs

My husband often tells me that our home works like a business. He is the CEO and I am a manager. He delegates parts of the management of our home to me and I report back and honor him in what I am doing. I know this sounds cold and it really is just an illustration, but it's helpful for shining some light on a marriage relationship. My husband and I are equals as people. But he has the authority over our home. As long as I submit to that and don't try to overthrow his authority, it goes well with us. :)

It's about my heart attitude too. I once heard "Obedience is in action, submission is in the heart." I can submit in my heart, but fail to act it out in obedience and I can obey in actions, but not really submit to my husband's authority in my heart. My husband often says he doesn't just want me to do what he wants, but he wants my heart to be towards submitting to him. It makes all the difference in the world and when my heart is towards submitting to him, doing what he asks is easier.

All of this takes wisdom from God. There are times when I really don't want to submit to my husband. It's these times that it takes faith in God that He really does want me to submit and act it out. This is faith in action, obeying what God's Word directs me to do. I need God's wisdom and strong faith sometimes to go along when I don't feel like it. I thank God that He gives wisdom liberally and it's a GIFT, not something that is earned, because I really need it!

Questions to ponder this week:

• Do I believe God's Word for what it says?
• Do I really believe that it's God's will for me to submit to my husband?
• To I "show" my faith by acting out what I say I believe about my relationship with my husband?
• Do I ask God to give me wisdom? Do I acknowledge that I need His gift of wisdom in submitting to my husband, especially when I don't want to?

Do you have a thought or post on Wifehood this week? If so, share with us!

Staycation 2010

Photo by Alicia Nijdam

There's nothing quite like a nice, quiet, peaceful weekend away. Especially if you can manage to make it a couple's only weekend. But with times being tough it can be difficult to arrange a weekend away and if you have small children it may seem like a far off distant fantasy. Don't dispair!

Your dream weekend may not be as far off as you think! My husband and I have very tight finances and two small children (3 and 1) but with some creativity we managed to pull off a very lovely weekend without the kids and without spending a ton of money.

Ditch the kids. Sounds mean, I know, but I firmly believe (from my own experience) that every couple needs some time alone together to recharge. Kids benefit from seeing their parents loving each other and spending time alone together is one of the best ways to reconnect and enjoy each other. A few hours, a night, a weekend, whatever. Find a way for at least some time to remember why you fell in love and hopefully rekindle some of the passion from those early days. :)

My husband and I are lucky enough to have family nearby. Our girls spent 2 nights with Grandma and Grandpa (which they loved!) and it only cost us one 45 minute trip to pick them up. Not everyone has family nearby, but I'm sure if you put your mind to it you can come up with a great idea. Some families trade off babysitting. Or maybe all the kids could be in camp at the same time. :)

We stayed at our own Bed and Breakfast. Sure, it was a little more work, but it was cozy, homey and just right! We woke up when we wanted, watched movies when we wanted, played games whenever we wanted and just plain did what ever we wanted! We didn't have to worry about check out times, extra fees and getting lost in an unfamiliar neighborhood.

We went out to eat with coupons. Here's where we choose to splurge. We decided to hit some wonderful restaurants we rarely get to go to (like a fun Japanese steakhouse) and we even made one fancy, very kid unfriendly meal at home, Shrimp Scampi Linguine. It was fabulous and definitely worth it. We had store bought ice cream while we watched a free rental movie and had other fun treats.

We visited local attractions. We live very close to Marketplace and Flea Market. For fun, we went shopping and bargain hunting after one of our lunches out. We ended up not buying anything, but it was fun just to be out together, walking and enjoying experiencing things together as a couple. Is there something in your town that you can never do with the kids? Maybe even going to a real movie theater to see a non-kid movie?

All in all, we probably spent around $100 or less for a 2 day, 2 night couple's getaway. That's including gas for the car, food money and other small expenses. It was a very memorable "trip" and made me appreciate being with my husband again. I was actually recharged and ready to be the best Mommy I could be again. I began to miss my girls even! What a fine thing!

Check out Frugal Friday for other great frugal tips and Finer Things Friday for other wonderful things!

Top 6 Priorities

I recently read the book Creative Counterpart by Linda Dillow. I was interested in reading this book because I've been trying to learn as much as I can about being a good helpmeet and I had read another one of her books, Intimate Issues.

Personally, I didn't find this book very helpful. Most of it was not new to me or didn't really apply. However, there was one tip I've found pretty useful.

Chapter 4 was about priorities and she listed a few areas we, as helpmeets, should be taking care of. Priority #4 was the home in accordance with the Proverbs 31 woman passage:

She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. Proverbs 31:27

Linda Dillow goes on to say that this includes being organized (!) and setting the right pace in our homes. It's our responsibility to keep things running smoothly and efficiently. She recommends the following method from Ivy Lee:

1. Write down the 6 most important tasks you have to do tomorrow and number them in order of importance
2. First thing tomorrow, begin with item 1 and stick with it until you're finished
3. After completing number 1, cross it out with a bright red pen!
4. Proceed to number 2 and complete it before going on to number 4

What a wonderful lesson! More often than not, I could write a To-Do list a mile long, accomplish a bunch of tiny little seemingly urgent things, and not get one important thing done in the day. By keeping the list simple and manageable, you make it possible to actually accomplish the truly important things in the day.

Now, to just work on actually making the list and following it... That's priority number 1 for me right now!! :) What do you do to stay organized and prioritized? How do you like this idea of writing down the top 6 priorities each day?

Created to be His Help Meet: Chapter 4

Last time, I wrote about Chapter Three in the book "Created to Be His Help Meet: Discover How God Can Make Your Marriage Glorious" by Debi Pearl which was about having a thankful spirit. If you're just joining us, you can start at Chapter One and Chapter Two. Many of this book's topics aren't popular today and will require us to be serious with ourselves and God. If you're ready, let's go!

Chapter Four: Thanksgiving Produces Joy
Chapters 2, 3 and 4 are all very similar, talking about joy, peace and thankfulness. Debi Pearl writes:

Live with thanksgiving, forgiveness, and joy, and enjoy all your moments as if they were your last.... You have control over whether or not you and your husband will be "heirs together of the grace of life" (1 Peter 3:7) or partners together in the tension and stress of life. You have much more control than you know.

Debi then tells a story where she was given a chance to become angry and bitter toward her husband, but she instead chose to love and forgive and find joy in it. We're so used to responding in anger when we don't get our way or people act in a way we don't aprove of. How does that affect our relationships? We have to choose to be angry and bitter. Why not choose thankfulness and joy instead? When our husbands don't do what we want (like taking out the garbage), should we become bitter about it or should we learn to enjoy helping him with it (not nagging, but doing it ourselves)?

Debi emphasizes that we and our husbands are playmates in this life together. Look for ways to have FUN in life. So often we drag ourselves through life without joy, peace or thanksgiving. Why not look for ways to enjoy life with our spouses instead?

She encourages us to remember that we are his helper and one of the things he needs is a playmate. Someone to make life more enjoyable. Someday you could have a wonderful relationship, but not because he's perfect or does everything you want, not because you are perfect or nag him to "help" him be a better person. You could have a wonderful relationship if you chose to go through your life and marriage with an outlook of forgiveness, not taking offense, even when you have a right to and being thankful for each day you have. You can have goodwill and a merry heart towards each other, if you chose to.

Lastly, remember that it's never too late to start. You can begin a life of thankfulness and joy from this day forward. Though you may think too much bad has happened, remember that Jesus' love and forgiveness can reach you wherever you are and you can begin changing your own attitude right now. Remember: practice makes perfect. Try practicing have a merry, thankful heart and goodwill towards your husband, no matter what has happened between you. Forgive him. Remember, you will never have to forgive anyone more than Jesus has forgiven you and we are commanded to forgive, no strings attached. I know with God's help we can do it!

Questions to ponder this week:

• Am I my husband's playmate?
• Do I chose to forgive and forget regularly? Do I have goodwill towards my husband?
• Do I find joy and thankfulness in doing things my husband doesn't when I want him to or do I harbor bitterness in my heart?
• Am I willing to begin a life of forgiveness today, remember that Jesus first forgave me?
• What do I have to be thankful in my life?

Do you have a thought or post you'd like to share on marriage? Feel free to leave a comment and share with us!

Follow the Leader

I love some movies because of the way they speak to me. Recently, I was watching another of my favorite movies, The Nativity Story. Sure, they take some creative liberties, but overall I think they did an excellent job of portraying the events surrounding Christ's birth.

Every time I watch The Nativity Story, I'm reminded of just how real Jesus was and the struggles the people in the Bible really went through. It's so easy to read the Bible and only hear dry words without feeling the struggles, emotions and life experiences of the people in the stories.

This last time I watched The Nativity Story (while working out even!), a thought occurred to me. So often, Mary is looked at as an extremely faithful, godly, spiritual woman. I don't disagree. An angel came to her and told her she would bear the Son of God and she believed! But what stuck out to me this time was this:

Now when they had departed, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream, saying, “Arise, take the young Child and His mother, flee to Egypt, and stay there until I bring you word; for Herod will seek the young Child to destroy Him.” Matthew 2:13

and this:

Now when Herod was dead, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt, saying, “Arise, take the young Child and His mother, and go to the land of Israel, for those who sought the young Child’s life are dead.” Matthew 2:19-20

Mary had been spoken to by an angel before, so why didn't the angel speak to Mary again and tell her to flee with the child? I find it interesting that after Joseph and Mary were married, the angel spoke to Joseph about their direction as a family. I think it's because Joseph was recognized by God as the head of the family.

What would have happened if Mary had disagreed with Joseph? What if she had dragged her feet and refused to follow his leadership? The results could have been disastrous. Is it any less dangerous when we resist the God ordained leadership of our husbands? I believe it is very dangerous to resist our husband's leadership and I hope to linger over this lesson so it will stick with me the next time I am tempted to follow my own lead!

Created to be His Help Meet: Chapter 3

Last time, I wrote about Chapter Two in the book "Created to Be His Help Meet: Discover How God Can Make Your Marriage Glorious" by Debi Pearl which was about having a merry heart. If you're just joining us, you can start at Chapter One. Many of this book's topics aren't popular today and will require us to be serious with ourselves and God. If you're ready, let's go!

Chapter Three: A Thankful Spirit
A thought from Debi Pearl:

A wise woman sets a joyful mood in her home. Through laughter, music, and happy times, she creates a positive attitude in her children. She knows that a lighthearted home relieves her husband of stress.

It can be difficult some days to have a thankful, merry heart (like we talked about last week). This chapter especially talks about discontentment-like when we don't have the money/lifestyle we think we should. "All the days of the afflicted are evil: but he that is of a merry heart hath a continual feast" (Proverbs 15:15) Debi says that discontentment is not a product of our circumstances, but of our souls. If we choose to be content and joyful in our hearts, our lives and homes will reflect that.


"...for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content" (Phillipians 4:11) It's funny how our mindset can change the course of our day and our relationships. You know the saying "when mom is happy..." It's true. And mom should be happy all the time. Not a situational, flimsy, selfish happy, but a true joy of God (because it is a fruit of the spirit) knowing that God has richly blessed us with not only salvation, but even worldly comforts (even if they aren't up to our own standards).

Some people may say that "I'm just not a naturally happy person." I would ask them if they are a natural cook (or whatever they are) or did they have to practice to become what they are now? The point is, joy, just like anything else, needs to be practiced. And when you fail, try again! Learn to be thankful. Learn to smile each day. Learn to enjoy you life!

"And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful." (Colossians 3:15) Often, with joy comes peace. I wrote several of the verses Debi listed on joy and contentment on an idex card and put it on my dresser. I often read through them when I am dressing and such and Proverbs 15:15 is now becoming etched in my heart. I would encourage you to do the same!

Questions to ponder this week:

• Do you walk to joy most of the time? Some of the time? Rarely? Start where you're at and ask God to help you practice to become more joyful.
• Do your circumstances steal you joy, cause you stress or cause strife in your marriage? Would becoming content with your state give you and your family more peace and joy?
• How are your children's attitudes? Are they reflecting your attitude?

Do you have an encouraging thought to share on Wifehood? Tell us about it!

Created to be His Help Meet: Chapter 2

Last time, I wrote about Chapter One in the book "Created to Be His Help Meet: Discover How God Can Make Your Marriage Glorious" by Debi Pearl which was about changing the way we think about ourselves in relation to our husbands. Many of these topics aren't popular today and will require us to be serious with ourselves and God. If you're ready, let's go!

Chapter 2: A Merry Heart
This week is pretty simple and straightforward. The topic for this chapter comes from the verse Proverbs 17:22 "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones." The main message is self explanatory. A smile is contagious and infectiously spreads a good mood to all those around you. All people, including your husband, love a smiling woman with joy in her heart. Not only will smiling lift the mood of those around you, but it will be like medicine to your own heart as well.

Some days, a smile and joyful heart will take effort. A lot of effort. But you have to decide to have be joyful and make the effort for your husband. He and your marriage are worth the effort! Some days, you have to fight for your marriage.

I know that I often am tired and weary after a long day of dealing with two little ones and the last thing I want to do is make an effort to smile and be joyful. My husband has told me before that it can be difficult to want to be around me when I'm "in a mood." I know the Lord tells us to be filled with joy, so that is my goal to strive for. I'm not there yet, but I will keep on asking God to fill me, both for my marriage and for me!

Questions to ponder this week:

• When you and your husband first met, did you laugh a lot together? Do you still?
• Do you mope around and have a long face?
• Are you still your husband's sweet smiling lover and admirer?
• Do you bring a smile to his face when he looks at you or do you cause his joy to dry up?

Ask God to fill you with joy, one of the fruits of the spirit, and to be mindful to show it outwardly, especially to your husband. God gives abundantly to those who ask and believe! Do you have a thought to share on Wifehood? Leave us a comment!

Created to be His Help Meet: Chapter 1

I originally posted this in August/2009. In keeping with my new focus on inspiring others in Titus 2, I've decided to repost the Created to be His Help Meet articles I've written and to continue on with the book. Hope you enjoy it as much as I have!

I've read and loved the book "Created to Be His Help Meet: Discover How God Can Make Your Marriage Glorious" by Debi Pearl and I plan on writing about and reviewing each chapter of that book here on Wednesdays. So, without further ado:

Chapter One: God's Gift
Now ladies, what's the first thing that comes into your mind when I say "You are God's gift to your husband?" Be honest. When I first read the chapter about God's gift to men, a twinge of resistance rose up in my heart. Debi Pearl says that as a woman, I was created to fill a need, to be a helper suited to the needs of a man. A part of me didn't like reading that. Furthermore, she writes "A wise woman doesn't take anything for granted. She is thankful to be loved and seeks to make herself more lovely."

Knocks the pride of feminism right down, doesn't it? But rather than consider the negative feelings this can give rise to, consider the good. I am a GIFT. God only gives perfect and wonderful gifts that are needed and I am, therefore, exactly what my husband needs. Do I choose to live as the perfect gift to my husband? Or do I treat him as if he owes me something? Read Genesis 2. Who was the gift and who was the receiver? As a mother who stays home all day with our children, it's very easy to give in to expecting my husband to come home and do certain things or behave certain ways, as if he's my helper.

I am tempted to list so many of Debi Pearl's words here, but I won't because I truly hope that you'll get it to read for yourself or you can check out their site. It really is worth it in my opinion. But for this week, I want to encourage you, wives, to be the perfect gift to your husband. As Debi puts it:

"Does your husband share Adam's feelings of delight when he looks upon you? Do you wake up each morning ready to make your husband happy and blessed, to serve him to the best of your ability-to be his helper? Are you engaged in active goodwill toward your man? That is God's perfect will for you."

"But she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband" 1 Corinthians 7:34

This isn't about what he deserves. It's about honoring your husband because God wants you to, even when it's hard. When you honor your husband, you honor God and you are a living testimony of Jesus Christ to those who are around you. The world will notice something different about you (because this principle certainly isn't popular in the world today) and as Christians, we are called to be different and to shine light. Showing the gospel of Christ to the world can be as simple as honoring our husbands the way the Bible says we should. Funny how Satan makes us think that it's so much harder than that. So many Christians like to focus on "soul winning" and such when simply living our lives in Christ's pattern and perfect will speaks louder than our words do.

Women are by no means inferior to men. Simply different. I have a different calling than my husband. My calling is to honor and serve him, making it easier for him to follow his calling. I support him, submit to his authority and look to find ways to make his job easier. This is my God-given nature. If I live out my calling, I will bring him honor among others. "A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband" Proverbs 12:4. Am I seeking to bring my husband honor, or myself? In seeking not my own, but my husband's, in the end I will be honored as well: "Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her" (Proverbs 31:28) and "Give her the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates." (Proverbs 31:31) Your faithfulness, diligence and selflessness will not go overlooked by God!

Questions to ponder this week:

• Am I seeking my own honor and recognition, or my husband's?
• Do I treat my husband as if he's my helper?
  
• Am I what my husband would consider the perfect gift?
• How can I better help my husband in everyday life? What practical things would my husband be pleased to see me do? (Packing his lunch each morning, making sure his work clothes are clean in time, etc.)

May God bless you as you seek to be your husband's help meet! Please feel free to share the ways you are your husband's help meet or to leave your own link about wifehood! You can go to Chapter 2 over here!

Date Night Giveaway (Closed): 2 Free McDonald's Coupons

Did you notice the amazing free coupon for McDonald's in your newspaper this past Sunday? Because my husband works in a nursing home that has recycling bins he managed to round up 11 of these wonderful little treats.

Last night, my husband and I took our 2 girls to a nearby McDonald's and enjoyed two free smoothies while our girls played inside the Play-Place. True, it wasn't a kid's free date night, but it was still great to sit and talk while the girls played and we didn't have to worry about them wandering off! Plus, sis I mention it was totally free? :) I think reconnecting on a regular basis is a great way to love my husband.

To help you on your journey of loving your husband, I'm offering to giveaway 2 of these awesome date coupons (just in case you didn't get a chance to nab your own)! Wondering why I'm making it a goal of this blog to encourage you to love your husband? Check out my post over here and I hope you'll join me!

To enter the giveaway you can do any of the following, leaving a separate comment for each:

1. Leave me a comment telling me how you actively work on loving your husband (if you're not married, tell me how you plan on enjoying these!)
   
2. Blog about this giveaway and leave me the link.
3. Become a follower/feed reader or tell me if you already do (left side of the blog)!
4. Become a subscriber or tell me if you already do (left side)!
5. Follow me on twitter or tell me if you already do!
6. Become a fan of the Christian Frugal Mama Facebook page or let me know if you already are!
   

That's 6 chances to win! Sorry, but I can only mail to the USA or Canada. The giveaway is open from now until Monday July 26th at 11PM EST when I will randomly pick a winner. I will email the winner (so make sure you leave a way for me to email you!) and the winner will have 48 hours to respond. If they don't, I will pick a new winner. Good luck!!

It's a Brand New Day

I've been considering for a while now that I should write something, anything to explain my disappearance to those of my followers that may have actually read this blog semi-regularly. The reasons are very complicated and I won't bore you with them, but suffice it to say that I'm doing some "soul searching." Such a cheesy term for such a serious time of life.

In looking at my blog and my life, I'm realizing that I really don't have much to say. Or least not much to say that's worthwhile for someone else to read. There's already so much junk on the internet, I really don't want to contribute to the pile. With all the junk out there, it takes a great deal of time and patience to find the true gems and sometimes I just don't think the time away from our other duties is worth it.

In my soul searching, I've realized that I don't have much to say that's worth telling someone else about. Not yet anyway. I'm a fairly new wife (we're approaching 4 years together) and a fairly new mother (my oldest will be 3 this August) and I simply don't have the tried and true experience and wisdom of an older married mother, yet.

My heart's cry and passion revolves around Titus 2:3-5

"The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed"

I have long been feeling the lack of a wise, older woman to teach me those 8 things described above and I believe that many other young women crave this as well. It is a rare thing in today's culture that older, experienced Christian mothers pour into the lives of younger women not just in a "spiritual" way, but in a practical real life way. I don't want someone to just tell me to be sober, show me and teach me what that looks like! Of course, young people aren't so good at listening either.

These past few weeks have been humbling, difficult, and heart breaking but also encouraging, uplifting and inspiring. That's one of the amazing things about God. He will show you what a mess you are, but rather than kick you while you're down, He'll give you hope and provide a way to move forward.

From now on, when I post on this blog, I hope that it will be a reflection and encouragement for moving forward. I hope to inspire young women with anything that I learn that fits in with the 8 things listed above for young women to learn. I hope that I'll no longer be adding to the massive amounts of junk that have to be sifted through on the internet.

God bless you for listening to me pour out my heart and I hope you'll walk this journey with me of learning to be sober, to love our husbands, to love our children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, and obedient to our own husbands.