"That they (the older women) admonish the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed." Titus 2:4-5

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Birth Control

Wondering how we got started on this? You can go to the beginning of it here.

I was going to do this as a comment in response to the question "If I may ask, what are your husbands convictions against birth control?" , but it got too long winded!! :)

My husband doesn't believe that God intends for us to use birth control. His main reasoning comes from the story of Judah's sons and "spilling their seed" because they didn't want to produce an heir for their brother. Although I don't fully agree that this is the main point of that story in the bible, I do agree that it seems to be a biblical principle that children are a blessing and when we get saved, we die to ourselves and give Jesus Lordship over our lives. I believe a woman's first priority is her home, which often times includes the children. I'm not saying women shouldn't work; they can, if their home is not suffering.

Before I got married my biggest concern was getting my degree, paying off my school loan, etc. My husband instead said we should trust God, because the bible makes it pretty clear that it is God that opens or closes the womb. Like I said, we were going to try "natural" methods, but that all involves deprivation and it's sometimes very frustrating. Plus I realized I was still trying to "control" my life and what was going to happen. The verse God laid on my heart was when Paul talks about only denying each other in that area for reasons of fasting and prayer. We weren't fasting and praying, we just didn't want a baby yet. Which when I looked at it, seemed selfish. Who am I to decide when a life should come into this world or not? And just because I'm not "ready" or feel like we aren't well off enough... who's to say what's enough money to have a baby? When we own a house? When we pay off our house? When, when, when....

We aren't supposed to be planning out our own lives, we don't know all the ins and outs like God does. Now if God ever does tell us to use it, then that's fine too. What it ultimately comes down to, for us as a couple, is that we give God full control of our lives, whether that produces a result we expected/wanted or not.

I would definitely have chosen to not have a baby; I wanted to work, pay off my loan, get a house, etc. But then I wouldn't have learned some amazing things that children teach us about the heart of God. Some of my best revelations come from just watching Lizzy. I wouldn't have learned that $24,000/year is not only enough for a 3 person family to live off of, but to live WELL on. I don't feel deprived or lacking. We can even give and go out and enjoy being alive. I never would have believed that before I saw it. Tax time was shocking for me this past year. Most of all, I know that God holds my life and our family in His hands. Many people think that's irresponsible and what we did was irresponsible, but I have peace knowing that Jesus is Lord of my life and I can "take no thought for tomorrow." What peace! Well, not always, but when I remind myself of who's Lord and that I have all eternity to spend with Him, then it strengthens me to give it all up for Him. What is a house or job in comparison to knowing that I will be rewarded for submitting to my husband's convictions and choosing to give up my desires and laying them at His altar. He will fulfill the ones He wants in His timing. Until then, I trust Him and trust Him to guide my husband. It can be hard to trust and follow a man, but I know that submitting to him and trusting him is really like sumitting to Jesus. I trust that God won't let me fall, even if my husband makes a mistake.

Sorry, really long, but hey. Take it for what it's worth, it's where God has me right now and some of the things He's taught me (and is still helping me to TRULY learn). :)

You can follow more of our discussions on this here.


Ryan and Anna on September 26, 2008 at 8:47 PM said...

Hey, thanks for the response. I appreciate it.

Some follow-up questions:

- What leads your husband to believe the story of Onan has anything to do with birth control?

- Given that children are a blessing, and that Jesus should have lordship over our lives, what about those principles leads you to believe birth control is inappropriate?

Christian Frugal Mama on October 2, 2008 at 3:41 PM said...

I finally got around to answering these questions in Birth Control Part 3! :)


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